I have been in a depressed state, just wanting to retreat into fluffy books or sleep. Checking the news and facebook far too often. Making calls to which I fear no one is paying attention. Writing, learning, feeling guilty about not doing more. Finding some relief in work or going out.
I am trying hard, because that's what I do, to find the commonalities on both sides. To look for that thing, those things, we can agree with, all of us. Something to build on. Pondering what we can do to reduce the hatred, the distractions. Feeling like I'm spinning my wheels.
Then yesterday, something I heard on NPR resonated with me. Unfortunately, I wasn't paying close attention so I can't credit the speaker. I think it was on 1A.
"This is not a marathon or a sprint but a relay." I can take comfort in that. Sometimes, when things seem too much, I can pass on the baton and rest a bit. It's a Sabbath concept, too. It's ok, good even, to take a Sabbath. To let the next runner carry on for just a little while.
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1 comment:
There are times in my life--with problems too large for me to solve--when I fidget, worry and get so stressed I'm useless. then I sit and think--what small first step can I take? The entire problem is too big for me to fix--so what can I do that is small enough to make me feel good and feel I am moving forward.
With my dad at deaths door--I called him (in ICU) very single day at 12 noon to say "Daddy, I love you" After a week or so--he knew I was going to call and answered more quickly (phone would ring 20 times) than usual and I could say a few more words.. And after 2 or 3 weeks, he actually spoke to me. It was a comfort to me and I think a lifeline to him. He lived and mowed his lawn for another 5 years.
So, Connie--one small step forward. STOP reading the news online. Listen to NPR but only for 15 minutes. get yourself some paper or a notebook and write down how you are feeling, what you are worrying about. then close the book. do this every time you need to relieve stress.
plant seeds. buy a flowering plant. cook comfort foods. Read those sappy books. This too shall pass.
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